Whelmed

I was listening to Michael Feldman's Whad'ya Know on WPR yesterday and heard the following question: Why is there the word *overwhelmed* and the word *underwhelmed* but there is no *whelmed*?

I found the question profound and while driving by myself as I had left all 3 kids at home with my mother-in-law who was visiting I declared to myself that *I AM WHELMED!!!*

I am whelmed.

Life is good.  I have moments of frustration.  Moments where I get caught up in wishing for something else, something more, extra whatever....then I realize I and most everything about my life is JUST FINE.  I am not overwhelmed (although some days the kids make me close).  I am not underwhelmed (although some days I get drowsy and though I have work to do I get a bit weary for FUN).

I am fine.  Life is fine.  I am grateful.  I am content.  I AM WHELMED!  :)

giggle.

Letters of a Woman Homesteader

A few notes and quotes from “Letters from a Woman Homesteader” by Elinore Pruitt Stewart. 

I listened to this book while driving to and from my retreat.  The reader’s voice was so calm and soothing that I could only listen to bits at a time fearing she would hypnotize me while I was driving.  Elinore worked as a laundress in Denver after her husband died in a railroad accident.  She then moved to Wyoming to be a homesteader and ended up marrying.   The book is comprised of letters that the author wrote to her former employer in Denver.  The letters were written sometime in the period of 1909-1913.

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I love the first quote. Despite my lack of knowledge and my generation’s lack of physical and emotional stamina and ability to easily do such physical living I greatly embrace the author’s feelings in this quote.  Parts of it were quite specific to the time it was written (I left most of that out).  I aspire to be as energetic and as tough as this author.  My love for what we are doing with our property is growing stronger and stronger yet I am no where as tough as this woman, even in her weakest states!  It is a bit more difficult to obtain land these days and it is a challenge to turn it into a homestead.  However, the small amount of independence and security we have experienced from having plenty of meat and veggies is assuring and knowing that as we continue to improve our homestead it will get even better.

I LOVE this quote.  I pulled off the interstate to write it down and forwarded and rewound the tape many times in order to get this quote word perfect.  Read, marvel at her determination and enjoy:

“When I read of the hard times among the Denver poor, I feel like urging them, every one, to get out and file for land.   I am very enthusiastic about women homesteading.  It really requires less strength and labor to raise plenty to satisfy and strengthen a large family, than it does to go out and wash laundry with the added satisfaction of knowing their job will not be lost if they care to keep it.  Even if improving the place does go slowly it is that much done to stay done.  Whatever is raised is the homesteader’s own and there is no house rent to pay.  . . . . Any woman strong enough to go out by day could have done every bit of the work and would have been so much more pleasant to work so hard in the city doing laundry. . . . . . To me homesteading is the solution to all poverty’s problems.  But I realize that temperament has as much to do with success in any undertaking.  And person’s afraid of coyotes and work and loneliness had better let ranching alone at the same time any woman who can stand her own company, can see the beauty of the sunset, loves growing things and is willing to put in as much time at careful labor as she does over the wash tub will certainly succeed.  She will have independence, have plenty to eat all the time and will have a home of her own in the end.  Experimenting will cost the homesteader no more than the cost of the work......”

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The next quote was stated while she was traveling with 3 children, 2 slow old horses and a buggy on a 2 day trip over mountains, with no roads. 
The thought of that trip moves me near tears out of the exhaustion and frustration that must have been present.  She had planned an overnight at a friend’s but it did not work out as planned.  She then got turned around on her way to her next location and ran across a somewhat inhospitable man sitting on a log before a fire where she had decided to camp for the night.  He was gruff but her headstrong ways made her decide she would not back down and find a new camp.  This is what she quoted at that time:

“When we feel sorry for ourselves we make our misfortunes harder to bear because we lose courage and can’t think without bias.  So I cast out for something to be thankful for....then I began to view the situation with a little more tolerance.”

Her words remind me of the very topic of this weekend's retreat and the key scripture which was given out to us women as a benediction of each session.

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."    1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 

A Retreat

Today I start my last leg of my journey.  Today I go home to my sweethearts!

It's been a great journey.  My soul is refreshed from worshiping with nearly 100 other women from far and near of all age groups (although gray was the dominant hair color).  My heart is warmed by new women friends in my life who are very strong in their faith and their walk.  My body was pampered upon while we were there (MennoSpa: feet treatments, brow waxing, chair massage, neck packs).  My body's knots were a bit too tight for the last two to do any more than relax a bit....but relax and soothe the soul it did.

The topic was Gratitude (with a strong current of contentment underneath).  The speaker was AMAZING!  Her presentation skills were fun and engaging.  Her messages were new to many in the room but a great refresher to me who holds these topics very close to my heart (since the clothesline experience).

The travel:  was long but good.   Books on tape entertained me the entire drive out to Hesston, KS.  "The Midwife's Apprentice" boiled down to the message that life requires hard work and hard learning experiences amidst not so pleasant people but that life under those circumstances can still be filled with love and fullness.  Corrie Ten Boom's "The Hiding Place" was continually echoed throughout the retreats message.  I had asked the speaker if she had listened to it be cause it was so very in sync with her messages of gratitude being contagious and gratitude/contentment does NOT equal happiness.  The message of praying to God and seeing him in the very small things around us....even thanking him for that which is afflicting us was so strong in both the book and our meetings.


This journey was not so restful for me.  I had hoped to get home feeling thankful to get out of the car but feeling steeped full to the rim with energy.  I unfortunately am not there.  Retreats in general are often not very restful but I had expected that it would be my own socializing fault if I had not rested enough.  To a little extent this might be true.  However, every night with the exception of last night I tossed, turned, was sweltering in heat I am unaccustomed to, my rib had moments of tremendous pain from my pollen induced asthma coughing.  There were some long, long coughing fits that I was so very thankful to get stopped.  And then there were moments, very unlike me, where all was well within my environment and my body that I JUST could NOT sleep!

I've been asking God what I am to learn from this.  My family will tell you this is NOT like me.  I am usually asleep the second my head hit's the pillow and if my mind is wound up it MIGHT take 3 minutes and some scribbled notes before I am there.  To lie in bed comfy and not be able to fall asleep was very new to me.  I must say:  I'm not all that fond of it.  Saturday night at 3:30 I called out in a very loud (but all internal so as not to scare my roommate) pleading voice....... "God PLEASE PUT ME TO SLEEP!!!!!!!" I remember nothing after that.  Perhaps I should have gotten desperate and demanding earlier in the night?

This weekend has been filled with blessing after blessing after blessing.  It started as a blessing.  I saw the flyer to hang upon a bulletin board (of which our church does not have) back in the early winter.  I stuck it away thinking it would never happen.  My dearly loved, always present (electronically), sweet precious girlfriends got wind and started scheming without my knowledge!  They found my 1/2 way between hotel.  They sent me food cards for meals at some of my favorite places, including Starbucks for some REALLY GOOD coffee.  They paid my registration and then send me a Visa gift card for gas and other travel expenses!  They also wanted to find help for my husband so he could continue to work on the homestead as he would if I were home, and they called my mother-in-law who was THRILLED to come help out and assuredly mentioned a few times that this request was not too much to ask.  My dear friends are a blessing.

At retreat people found out that I drove from Wisconsin and their mouths hit the floor. Most had only driven an hour at max.  They said: Why did you come? How did you get here? What made you want to be here?  I then told them about my friends and about how God used my clothesline (the one that I have desperately hated in the past) to bring incredible contentment to my soul.  I told them that I have been giving so much that I was dry and empty.  The ministry my family has been called to do is what God wants and this is what I am willing to give and to do.....but that the opportunity to sing with women, worship with women, be fed spiritual truths with women, and get my brows done (giggle) was just such an amazing draw for me. 

I went to be renewed, to be refreshed, to be rested, to meet new saints who I can call friend, to sing lots of robust songs with Mennonites, to live an entire weekend without having to filter out a single word.  I got most of that and a whole lot more.

I am so blessed and now I am so EXCITED to get on the road on the last leg of my fantastic journey.  Back home.  Back home to my loved ones.  Through the marvels of cell phones I have spoken to my three boys several times.  There is nothing more endearing than little squeaky voices telling me about Godzilla and playing outside over the phone.  I miss my squeaky voices and my sweet loving husband who has been working hard with the kids and with the house.

I am the most loved and most fortunate woman alive at the moment (I don't care if you disagree with that statement!!!)  :)

And now............journey on I must go.