Christmas Tree ??

Since I began having children 5 years ago we have not had a Christmas tree indoors.

Some years we cut one of our own pines and decorate it on the porch and other years I choose a more simple (easier to watch the traffic on our country road) route of lights on my deck only.

Inside we heat by a wood stove.  Our LR and Kitchen take up a big, long, narrow rectangle.  Three children 5 and under and a hot fire is already enough *excitement* for me in the winter.  The thought of a baby who walks along anything she can grab ahold of and two boys that are either ASLEEP or WRESTLING just reinforces my desire to have no traditional Christmas tree.

After my husband left home in college my MIL would decorate her HUGE Jade plant with garland.  I think she put up a Christmas tree only one year throughout those college and post college years.

We recieved a tiny little Jade start from my husband's grandmother.  It grew into a HUGE Jade.  It lives outside in the warm part of the summer but needs to live inside with us during the Winter.  IT occupies the corner that I would likely put a tree in.   SO................. a few years back we decided to decorate it and turn it into our Living Christmas tree.

Christmas in this house is simple, basic, scaled down (some might call it dreary).  I rebel against the wider culture telling me I *HAVE* to decorate with the sky being the limit.  I refuse to do things because I *SHOULD* do so *because it's Christmas!*  Christmas is about a Savior.  If the extra activites and extra decorating stress me out and make me exhausted or make me feel obligated to do things that deep in my heart I don't want to do.......then I wonder what the point is.  Is Christmas activity SO important that I need to resent all the busyness, all the decorations, all the imposed upon me Merriment? 

Christmas is about a Savior who was born in a dark, stinky, cold place without the splender that others keep trying to push upon me and my family.

We LOVE our Jade.  We LOVE our Christmas Tree.

One added blessing that surprises me each year: It blossoms with little delicate white flowers every December about a week before Christmas. If you look very closely you will see these little white flowers up at the top.  I love simple surprises found in the ordinary ESPECIALLY at Christmas Time.

I LOVE Christmas.

Nice, Simple, Beautiful and sometimes quiet.

The Fat Suit Diet

The other day I had a physical and was given a shot.  The nurse practioner kept telling me I WOULD gain 10 pounds with this medicine.

I began to panic because just the other day I managed to squeeze into my moderately skinny jeans!!  Please nevermind the fact that these skinny jeans fit looser than the next larger size I HAD been wearing.  TO ME they ARE my skinny jeans.  Ahhh, marketing at it's best.  I hate when marketing works, but I digress....  

As I am being told for the 4th time that I WILL gain 10 pounds I immediately began envisioning myself in a 400 pound fatsuit.  You know .....cause adding 10 pounds would immediately make me look like I was wearing a fatsuit in reality!!!  Hey!  I didn't say my thoughts make sense in the real world, did I?

I almost chose NOT to get the shot, but then it was too late.  Once the meds go into one's derriere the meds are pretty much at a point of no return. 

*sigh*

Anyway, the weirdest dieting method has been taking place without effort ever since this mysterious vision:

• I reach for a cookie = I see the fatsuit image= I stop reaching! 

• I start reaching my fork toward my child's plate to finish what he didn't eat= I see the fatsuit image= I stop reaching.  
• I reach for a sugary, bad for me snack= I see the fatsuit image= I make a salad instead!

My friends began to tell me that perhaps they TOO needed a vision of a fat suit.  So being the giving person I am, I whipped up this instructive email just for them.  Now I will share it with you.  All two of you.  You two who have found the site once in the past and made a comment. Oh well, I don't need a large following (as of this post I have none...giggle, giggle) I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle the pressure.  

The Fat Suit Diet Method!
by clotheslinemuse

Directions:
1) Print images from Picture Therapy below.
2) Cut
3) Tape images to all items in your house that might eventually lead you to look like printed picture.
4) Be motivated to reach for the fruit and veggies instead!

Then go do 100 crunches, abdominal core exercises and then go walk about 100 yards dragging feet along ground in knee deep snow.  Well, that's what I did after finding these pictures.  Okay, I just did the exercises.  I will save the printing option for later.  OH MAN, am I tired....that snow is a killer.

Picture Therapy Begins Here:

Now just because the top three images are men.....does not mean we women can not look THIS GOOD too!

Waaaaaay toooo many of P-Dub's Monkey Muffins!

(but really...who can blame her)

Edna says "OH I WANT SOME OF THOSE MONKEY MUFFINS, honey!!"

  Ahhh, beautiful, yet motivating, images of dear John Travolta

as Edna Turnblad in Hairspray.

....and then there was Gweneth

Before        and        After

See.... I am telling you!  Those sweets affect not only your fatsuit...but the clothes you choose to put over it!

I will fight against the odds.  I will fight against the odds.  

I will fight... 

crunch, crunch, munch..........

OH STINK!  

Did I just eat another cookie?

DARN!  

Going to print those pictures now.

Monkey Muffins

Here is a link to the DREAMIEST breakfast ever.  Below is a copied/pasted message on Ree Drummund's Blog www.thepioneerwoman.com with my tips.

THIS recipe is DREEEEEEAAAMMMYYY! 
Monkey MUFFINS

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/12/monkey-muffins/comment-page-8/#comment-1034014

The genetically related (redundant? but who cares, I am tired and need to start teaching school) recipe is Monkey Bread at:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/05/monkey-bread/
 I like the extra work of these muffins cause then I know EXACTLY how much I have eaten and it is most OBVIOUS if it is 1/2 the batch.

Enjoy my 3 readers out there!

Oh and prepare yourself for a fight if you have young ones when you call it by it's name.  My 3 and 5 yr old just could NOT handle that these yummy morsels were called "Monkey Muffins"!  I think it is perfectly appropriate!

***If there are any experienced bloggers out there reading this, can you please tell me how on earth I get those links to appear like links... or even get them to play hide and seek under a word.  I am such a Newbie!***

=============================================
OH my heavenly goodness!!  I just made these and I MUST SAY they are better than CAAAAAAL-GOOOOON!!!

Lessons I have learned:
* double check cinnamon level before starting.  I think I had a total of 2.5 tsp and yet these were STILL dreamy!
* don't let 5 yr old help with butter pats unless you are accustomed to miniature hairs and fuzz in your food (not a problem here, sorry to gross some of you out).
* dig the scorched cookie sheets out dedicated to my life as "drip pans" cause the Good does runneth over!
* make the dough the night before.  Of course this means that I must think about what I am going to eat the day before I eat it and well, this is just one of my many challenges!

OH REE!!  DEeeeeeee- Lisssshhhh!  Thanks for sharing.  Next time I am making a double batch: one for me and one for my family! Oh wait, just squeezed back into some of my skinny jeans a year post last baby.  Never mind I guess I will have to share.

It Just Makes No Sense. . . .

. . . . and other random thoughts.

Yesterday while driving my kiddos it struck me: The world around me makes no sense. Here are a few random observations, typed in random order, from the past week. I might add more as they come to me.

1) Why is the city in which I drive building a brand new Kwik Trip gas station when one already exists 3 stores down? And what are they going to do with the one that is currently up: sell it, bulldoze it? Fill in the tanks and turn it into one of their sister stores (specializing in tobacco)?

2) It is Dec 3 and I am *STILL* pulling ticks off of my dogs and my children! I delightfully toss them in our wood burning stove. I guess there is a streak of passive aggression in me.

3) Jean sizes! When did jean sizes get so screwy? I am really not complaining because in a weird way I do *FEEL* skinnier with the smaller number on my tag.........but seriously why is it that the skinny 6 I just tried on is actually larger than the size 8 I have been pouring, pulling and oiling my body into for the last month. (Just kidding on the oiling part!)

4) I don't even want to start thinking about the craziness of food pricing and food quality. The idea that any "food" can be made out of corn instead of *REAL* food and how damaging those corn products are to the internal chemical structure of our bodies! Then add in that it is cheaper for a family to pay for high fat, poorly produced "meat" products and what used to be nutritious potatoes at a fast food place than it is for them to buy foods that actually RESEMBLE the original food from a grocery store.............. Oh, this is a rant for another day but it just doesn't make sense to me. (See Michael Pollan for more details on my rant.)

5) My home averages 58-64 degrees unless we have a fire burning and this morning in my very chilly bathroom this morning I KILLED A MOSQUITO!!! In December!!! Is it doing some adventure training for the next Ice Age or what?

6) My just turned 3 yr old has stayed dry 3 nights in a row now...........His 5.5 yr old brother.....not so great of a record! What sense does that make? I guess he is trying to prove himself as we keep telling him that his just turned 1 yr old sister will be talking in smooth flowing sentences before he himself does. I guess he is just trying to prove that he can be proficient at something. Works for me. Sheets are about the easiest load of laundry to wash.....but they get old.

7) Why is it that when I have a stressful and hard day and just want to go to bed and escape FROM reality that I have dreams non-stop that are stressful, confusing and often down right terrifying? This makes NO sense! Last night the only hour of the night I did not see the clock one or more times was the 4 AM hour. Every other hour of my night was a series of tossing, turning and stress. Can we say ZOMBIE? (Edit: The horrible night was Dec 1.  Last night Dec 2 my dearest took on the parental duties and I was asleep by 5 pm and then slept until 7:15 AM or so!!!  I feel human again.)

8) Speaking of a world not making sense..... what on earth is up with the vampire and end of the world movies anyway? Very odd. A friend on facebook asked me if I would rather be a werewolf or a vampire. I responded with most certainly a vampire because shaving this non-werewolf body is already a colossal pain!

9)  Why do they make sippy cups a clear plastic and then attach bottoms to them that are not fully attached?  I ask because all of my sippys have dirt, grime, dark mysterious (probably living) stuff trapped between the bottom of the sippy cup and the hard attached handle section.  I SEE it while looking through the cup but can not possibly get to it to clean it out.  Soaking the cup in bleach will make it go away (not thinking about that too much) but then the harsh chemical breaks down the cup and it looks horrible.  NOTE TO SIPPY MANUFACTURERS:  If you are going to attach a handle...please FULLY attach it so those little black growing critters that live everywhere moist don't have such a luxurious location to hide and multiply in.  Blech.

10) Why do I feel absolutely exhausted from about 1:30 pm until the kids go to sleep and I am thus able to crash.........but then get a SURGE of energy and  can't seem to wind myself down until nearly 11 pm?  What's up with that?  I LOVE quiet but one would think quiet would HELP me settle down and not rev me up?  Weird.